empaths: the other kind of narcissist

i say this as someone diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder: self-proclaimed "empaths" are some of the most narcissistic people i've ever met. they want to be seen as sensitive, selfless, emotionally intelligent---without ever doing the work to actually be those things. 

they don't just want to help you! they want to save you!

they want to be the reason you're okay again. 

and when you don't give them that moment---when you don't perform gratitude or vulnerability the way they need---they spiral. and then they cry. because nothing flips a dynamic faster than weaponized emotional displays. 

crying isn't always manipulative. sometimes it's just crying.

but some people use it like a defense mechanism with an audience. the moment they're criticized, challenged, or not immediately comforted---they break down. on cue. not because they're overwhelmed, but because it works.

crying forces you to stop holding them accountable. it makes you feel guilty for setting a boundary. it shifts the focus away from what they did and onto how they feel. and it works best in public---when there's someone watching who might call you cruel for not comforting them.

psychologically, this is a form of affective manipulation---using emotional expression (like tears, trembling, hyperventilation) to regain control of a social situation. 

"empaths" think they're everything narcissists aren't---gentle, caring, emotionally open.

but they expect constant validation, panic when they're not at the center of attention, and center themselves in other people's suffering. sound familiar?

they project like they get paid to, and they're just as obsessed with being seen as good as any narcissist you've ever met.