HELP GIRLS

Girls…

sit down, put your tiny rhinestone flip phone on silent, and listen up. I’ve got TEA. Real, raw, tragically romantic tea.

So.
Let’s talk about E.

Yes, my ex. The one. The blueprint. The boy I thought I was going to marry when I was still using flavored lip balm and writing our names together in Sharpie on my math notebook. 🙄💔

We broke up eight months ago and guess what? I'm still not over it. Like, not even a little. I'm still crying to sad playlists like it's 2007 and I'm the main character in a CW show no one watches anymore but I still quote.

He moved on SO FAST. Like, blinked and suddenly he had a new girl plastered all over his stories, soft-launching her with latte pics and blurry mirror shots like I never even existed. Like we didn’t share late-night convos, bad horror movies, and trauma bonding over James Sunderland, okay??? 🙄

And me? I didn’t even throw a wine glass. I was sweet. I was respectful. I tried to be a mature queen, just wanted to be friends and move on peacefully. But what did I get in return? Blocked. Everywhere.
Instagram? Blocked.
Spotify? Blocked.
Probably cursed in The Sims too, I don’t even know anymore.

So this morning, I wake up — lashes still halfway on from crying last night (cute) — and I do what every mentally unstable girlie does: scroll.
Suddenly, I stumble upon his best friend’s IG. Let’s call him B.

And my brain went: Oh, drama? Let’s play.

Now don’t judge me, but I DMed him.
No, not like that. I didn’t say “hey 😉” or “wyd?” I didn’t even like any pics (growth, right?).
I just… replied to his story. Because the picture looked exactly like the foggy opening of Silent Hill 2. Iconic, eerie, depressing — just like my love life.

So I wrote:
“James Sunderland?”

And he said:
“Yup.”

LIKE??? That’s it??? No context? No joke back? No “you play too?” Just “yup.” Like he’s mysterious or… or worse… normal. 💀

Now I’m pacing around my room like a Y2K ghost girl with rhinestones under her eyes because WHAT IF HE TELLS E???

What if E thinks I’m creeping around his friends now? Like I’m trying to insert myself into his circle just because he moved on and I didn’t?? I mean, okay, maybe I did miss his energy, but that doesn’t mean I want to date his bestie, I’m not an actual villain. (Just a gorgeous disaster in platform heels.)

Also… what if B remembers me?? What if he’s like “ugh, that’s E’s ex who cried on his couch during New Year’s” or “the girl who overanalyzes texts and listens to sad J-pop when she’s depressed.” I CAN’T HANDLE THAT LEVEL OF SHAME, BABES.

But what if… he doesn’t remember me at all?
And I’m just screaming into the void, haunted by people who’ve already moved on?

Anyway.

If this explodes, if B tells E, if I become the talk of their little boy group chat (you know they have one), I’ll be right here — documenting the chaos, lip gloss in hand, typing like it’s 2006 and Blogger is my confessional booth.

Published by Mona Elisa 🂲

HELP GIRLS

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