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Category: Life

The Fear of Being Truly Seen

You ever notice how we all say we want someone who really sees us,  like, not just the version we show the world, but the real, messy, complicated us? But when someone actually gets close enough to do that, it’s scary. There’s this little voice in the back of your head whispering, “What if they don’t like what they find ?”

We’ve been taught to be “low maintenance,” to not be too emotional, too intense, too honest. So we shrink parts of ourselves to fit into what we think is lovable. We stay guarded, not because we don’t want connection , but because deep down, we’re scared that once someone sees all of us, they’ll leave. And rejection from that place ? It hits different.

But the truth is, real connection only happens when we let someone in without the mask on. When we’re not trying to impress, just trying to be. And the right people, the ones meant for us, won’t flinch. They’ll see the cracks and still choose to stay. Maybe not perfectly, but genuinely. And that kind of love? That’s rare, but it’s real.

So maybe it’s not the fear of being seen that haunts us, maybe it’s the fear that someone might actually see us,  and still stay. And honestly, that’s the most beautiful kind of terrifying



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dondondoon

dondondoon's profile picture

twinklelore u be strumming my pain with em fingers once again, much love dude perfect timing as always :)


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s0nd3r

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Vulnerability can be hard for us, I do agree. It's one I struggle with, too. The way people aren't obligated to listen to our problems and how rude it can be to talk about problems too much can interfere with the concept of opening up or warming up to someone, especially when you don't want to annoy someone.

I guess it's good to keep in mind what's bothersome and what's "annoying" but isn't annoying.


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Totally get that. It’s such a tricky balance, wanting to share, but not wanting to feel like a burden. And sometimes we overthink our own emotions, labeling them as “too much” when they’re just real. I think you're right, though, it helps to remember that being open isn’t the same as being annoying. The right people won’t see your honesty as a bother, they’ll see it as trust

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Giygas

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The hedgehog's dilemma, yes.


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Yeah, exactly, the hedgehog’s dilemma says it all. We all want to be close, but we’re scared of the pain that might come with it. Still, what’s the point of connection if we never let anyone close enough to actually feel it ? It’s messy, sure. But that’s what makes it real

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kiko!

kiko!'s profile picture

The notion that we have to be nonchalant and secretive about our life to prevent getting heartbroken is hurting us more. it’s the stupid, ‘shut everyone out and grow on your own’ idealism. Like no, we need each other to grow!

Even if you end up getting hurt, you’re not going to do any better with relationships if the person you’re with don’t know who you are. Now they like someone else, and when you finally slip and that mask breaks, you’ll be a liar and someone they’ve never met before. Then you’ve hurt them and yourself.


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Absolutely, you worded it so well, there’s this illusion of strength in hiding, like guarding ourselves makes us safer. But real growth, real connection, it needs honesty. You’re right, pretending only delays the pain and deepens the distance. Vulnerability isn’t weakness, it’s how we let the right people find us. And yeah, we do need each other to grow. Alone might feel safer, but together is where healing really happens

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Explorer of Wonder

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The worst part? They probably just ignore your true self if you show it.


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And that’s when you learn, they were never meant to hold something real

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yes, and that hurts

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Ik

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