The stress of stress confusion, rant

I don't know, I wish to see the rain :< It has been forever. I am tired, i wait for people, it feels like they never come back. The night time. The time of surreal, i wish to be with someone during the night, when the lights are bright, the moonlight is bright. The lamp is yellow, fuzzy and cozy. The memories and feelings, just like years ago. I am often scared, sad, and terrorized. Pain, what is pain really there for? Pain is just something constant flowing that I do not know what truly represents. What defines pain? Little numb things such as senses can be pain in higher levels, but when does that cross the line? It always to barely cross the line for me, mentally. What happens to scabs that heal with a dark spot? Is it an infection or just there. Friends, gone only can imagine where they have gone. Only thing you can hope is the best for them. I feel really sad and miserable. I wish i can talk to her, but she barely talks. Often busy I rarely have someone to talk to, someone to interact and do stuff with. I wish i can walk around at night, lovely nights as the calendar portrays. I knew someone by Ami, I wish I never met her. Gullible people can be, they will turn on you at some point. Even if you try, even pointing the flaws in their logic they are not turned. I hate interacting with people but really wish to interact with more. Spacehey feels like my past, I never grew up with MySpace but it holds the world I grew up with. I feel like i fit in here well. I wish my friends are on here too. One day I can be under the moonlight with them.