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I've always been a bit spacey but I dont think I've consistently had my internal monologue since I was 14 or so, [im 18 now] I am driven 100% by my subconscious while my conscious brain just loops 15-20 second long clips of songs I like ad infinitum
It's not like I'm a brainrotted tiktoker, I only spend a few hours a day on the computer browsing forums, occasionally watching youtube and I dont even have a smartphone! I am about as healthy phyiscally and mentally as one can be yet I do not think at all. When I'm hanging out with my friends I'll be totally out of it just daydreaming about something else with music playing in my head while my subconscious takes the wheel and handles all the social stuff, in all my dreams there's always music playing and so I dont even wake up with a fresh or empty mind
I gotta ask if this is normal, does everyone else operate like this? Do y'all verbally think to yourselves like in the movies? If not then how on earth because I genuiely feel like I'm dead and its starting to seriously mess me up
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Fits
ive been having the same experience!! ive always narrated myself like i'm a character in a novel or something, but recently i feel like ive been focusing more on an internal world than the outside world, whether it's that narration or something unrelated entirely.
i also wonder if it's the internet ruining my brain, like it's the equivalent of having subway surfers gameplay in the background of my real life or smth. i don't have tiktok, don't watch yt shorts, and try to stay away from "brainrot" content in general, but i do spend altogether too much time on my computer.. idk hopefully someone can shed some light on this
It's been a hot minute since I posted this but I think I've found the solution; going outside and almost fully cutting out screens, maybe even becoming empl*yed too
I know what you mean about the "internal world thing", when I wasn't on the internet and in the shower or cycling or something I'd make up some stuff in my head and basically run through a made up lifetime of an imaginary version of myself in like a few hours, it's hard to describe. I don't really do that anymore
I've pretty much ditched the whole computer internet thing, going full boomer mode and only using the computer to do my banking, check my emails, make online purchases, transfer movies and music and doing one off things like work inductions. I'm comfortable with being bored and because of that I feel a LOT better, I'm sharper and I feel like me again, I still play music in my head sometimes but thats a conscious choice. My head is always empty in a good way
I also have a job so my time is a lot more valuable than it used to be, after 9 1/2 hours of moving 2 shipping containers worth of stuff from one house to another, I don't want to sit on the computer and feel like my brain is being manipulated to extract as much watchtime as possible. I want to lie down for half an hour, make an omelet, read a book and sleep for 11 hours.
I'll go right back to work the day after if I have another shift that day and if I don't have another shift I may just hang out with my friends, maybe chill at home with the fam or go out and explore. Literally anything that isn't staring at a screen, doesn't matter if what I'm doing isn't groundbreaking or all that informative because I'm not meant to be learning or entertained 100% of the time, not even 20% of the time.
Getting to this point took time, and a lot of goes [youtube is really good at tempting you into wasting time] but doing anything worthwhile is often going around in circles until eventually you come out on top, the internet is a tool to assist your daily life and nothing more
by whoah; ; Report