Why calling a man a dick isn’t as bad as calling a woman a bitch.

The utter female rage I feel when a (specifically white, straight, cis) man calls me a bitch. I called my brother a dick because he was making a big deal about something small and really stupid. He didn’t say that me calling him a dick was bad, he just continued yelling at me over the petty thing. Fast forward to today, where he got really mad at me and called me a “selfish bitch”. 

I got mad. I told him in a calm but emotional tone that I don’t care what he calls me, but he can’t call me a bitch. My father and brother (both cis, white, straight) males proceeded to talk about how I was in the wrong too and shouldn’t say anything because I was being sexist towards males yesterday. 

Now I don’t mean for this whole thing to be about one argument I had, as that is not the purpose. I do think people forget that the word bitch is in fact a derogatory word used against women for centuries to “put them in their place”. The word dick doesn’t have that same history or meaning. ESPECIALLY since throughout history, men have consistently been the oppressors. At my brother’s age (15) I had been hit on by men 2-3x my age at least twice. Not to say that it couldn’t happen to him. 

One wouldn’t say that the f word is as bad as the n word. There’s a reason why there are so many words demeaning women specifically. I’d rather someone call me a cunt than a bitch. I hate how normalized it is. Part of the reason I can’t listen to specific rap music is how sexism is just so normalized in it, specifically calling them bitches. It even makes me uncomfortable when queer men say it, they are still men at the base level. I think sometimes that is forgotten. 

Honestly, the word should be considered a slur. I’m just so sick and tired. 

Also can we address the fact that men only talk about sexism towards men when a female talks about her experiences of sexism? It makes me sick.