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Why is it so hard to not let other people affect me? I don't mean in terms of bullying or anything like that, I don't have that in my life thankfully. I mean just seeing where everyone is at in life and automatically comparing myself to them. It’s like an autoimmune disease or something. I can't help it! I mean opening up instagram stories and seeing simple posts from people hanging out with their new friends they met at university or going out. Stuff like that and I can’t help but feel so much fucking fomo. I look at other 20 year olds and I can’t stop wondering why I don’t look like them already. I’m stuck in the place I grew up and I feel like I’m stuck growing the longer I’m here. Walking around the neighborhood and walking past friends and old classmates' houses and realizing that everyone left. I can’t stop wondering if I should leave too. I still need to get approval from my mom if I can sleepover at my cousin’s place. I feel so trapped. I wish I was going out to watch volleyball games, I wish I was going out to some dingy restaurant with friends to enjoy some mid food and then talk about how bad the food was in the car as we laugh. I’m stuck doing classes and homework. And if it’s not that, I’m working all day, rinse and repeat. I hate saying I feel lonely cause I’m really not alone. But I can’t help but feel it. I needa delete instagram…
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Xxrust.0n.th3w@llsxX
I get it! I used to see all these videos of people hanging out with their friends and doing crazy shit with them and felt pretty upset about it since I didn't have any real friends who would actually even care to say "hello" or even just give me a simple wave. It's been like that for ages! Like, I'm talking since kindergarten... and you know what? I didn't really want to change schools thinking that my "friends" would change, but as soon as I moved to a new school this year, I met all sorts of people with different aesthetics, goals, music, tastes, and pretty cool hobbies! Don't get me wrong, you'll always find people that have nothing better to do in their life than shit-talk others. But you'll always find someone who would relate to you. If you really wish to get out and meet new people, then go for it! Don't let anything hold you back! And as for feeling lonely... no matter how many people are around you, you can still feel lonely. It's not about the amount of people around you (family, relatives, etc.). If you don't have someone who would understand your viewpoints, have a topic to discuss that you both enjoy, share a similar hobby that you can spend your time doing together, you WILL feel lonely. And that's okay! It's a human feeling. Just because you do have people surrounding you doesn't mean you don't have the right to feel lonely! Honestly... just follow your gut and be yourself. And don't beat yourself up about it too much. If you ever feel lonely or anything, just text an online friend, listen to music, try out a new hobby, etc. It's better for you mentally. Hope you end up finding friends to hang with! Good luck! <3
rob.obithc( -_•)▄︻テحكـ━一 ⟢
gotta take more side quests