Things do get better, feelings do pass..

Dear hey of space,

I thought nobody could possibly understand what I was going through when I told them my problems and they told me one day I would feel better. I figured, they don't know this feeling. People have loved, but have they? Not like me. No one has loved harder than me. What a naive thought, and pretty narcissistic of me to think I have had the ultimate experience of true intimate feeling of love that no one else before or after me will ever experience. No one else knows what they're talking about!

But they were right. The feelings do pass. After the crying and the screaming and the self hating and self reflecting and self sabotaging and.. the list goes on. After all of that, I prayed for peace. I don’t know if prayer works but I just need peace. Peace over pleasure this time, because pleasure no longer numbs the feelings. I have to remind myself that even though this isn’t easy, it’s right for us at the moment. I was blessed to have experienced such a moment at all. I always knew how lucky I was to have you. I always told you.

We will rise again, we will get back up, and we will love again, and dance again, and laugh again, and wonder why we ever thought that life was over when something amazing had been around the corner, just waiting for us the whole time. And maybe that something is you. How long have you been waiting for the real you to shine again? Pain is a part of the beautiful yet torturous cycle of life. Honestly, I hate that immediately. But it’s like Butters said, "I love life...Yeah, I'm sad, but at the same time, I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like...It makes me feel alive, you know. It makes me feel human. The only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I'm feeling is like a beautiful sadness."

-Tuanitas