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In dreams
you can't
avoid me.
I can have a conversation
without skipping
right to the ending.
Where you look at me
despairingly,
with those stupid
spheres of
moon dust.
Most of my shit sits here,
still collecting dust.
I could care less.
Because inside,
I know
I don't belong here.
My existence has this gravitational pull
about it.
Connecting your fingertips
to my face
for just a moment.
They rest there,
until you rip off
parts of my cheek,
you're finally free.
Blood can be washed off
easily in the sink.
Besides,
I've finally received
that expensive
abrasion therapy
I've been wanting.
At no tangible cost!
Free from all this
scarred,
damaged,
skin.
That has bled out insecurity,
has been pinched,
pulling at red bumps
of nerves and anxiety.
No going back now.
Your hands are already rinsing.
I start to feel sick,
eating my fingers,
eyes fixed on the clock.
Face dripping.
It's only a matter of time.
Soon I'll leave this place.
Forgetting
your mannequin person.
You lay down flat on the bed,
a now clean hand pressed against your forehead.
I curl up beside your hollow body anyway.
Like a motherless child,
I do this
to keep sane,
to stay well.
"Well"
is so contemporary.
Are you well because you aced
a hierarchy of needs?
Or
are you "well"
because you've finally
stopped complaining?
Or does it all
have to wrap up
neat
in pretty packaging?
I close my eyes seemingly.
Pretend to dream a different dream entirely.
Comments
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Blackbird (Dale Winslow)
I like how this cynical and almost comical side comment in the middle acts as a breaker/breather in the midst of a serious write:
Besides,
I've finally received
that expensive
abrasion therapy
I've been wanting.
You have a bit of Atwood echo in this part!
Thank you! I probably should read some of her poetry. I’ve only ever read the handmaiden’s tale like every other lady in America at this point. She seems like she knows what’s up, so that’s very generous of you! I’m too stuck in the past to be anything revolutionary.
by Kathleen; ; Report
Her collection "Selected Poems 1965-1975" is a great overview of her early work. You can read lots online too :) I would also suggest you read Susan Musgrave's work - perhaps starting with a collection like "Forcing the Narcissus". Both of these women's early work in particular is very inspiring.
by Blackbird (Dale Winslow); ; Report
I will! I’ve been needing inspiration to continue, so this great!
by Kathleen; ; Report
hrh eliott!
This absolutely fucks Kathleen you got WORDS
Thank you!
by Kathleen; ; Report
I can't wait until you post some more stuff!!!!
by Kathleen; ; Report
✿blush puppy
"forgetting your mannequin person" 🙌🏻
Kathleen this is GOOD. like GOOD good. I feel this in my fucking bones, the atmosphere was exactly like this in the last relationship I had
ughhhhh thank you...coming from you that means the world. I know i fangirl too much with you, but it's only because you make it look so effortless .
by Kathleen; ; Report