The Incel Phenomenon: What Are We Really Talking About?

The first time I heard “Incel” was in an Amino group in 2016. Then I saw it on Reddit and thought it wouldn’t become mainstream, like a group of ten people… dude, I was wrong. I’m not sure I love that the concept of Incel is back, people use it so lightly and that’s why I’d like to explain a bit more in depth about Incels.

Where does the term ‘Incel’ come from?

The term incel started in the 90s. It was used by a Canadian woman named Alana, who wanted to create an online space where people could talk about the frustration of not being able to find a partner without being judged. At first, it wasn’t anything weird or bad. But over the years, something changed. The forums where this topic was discussed, like 4chan and Reddit, started to fill up with people with darker thoughts. Some of these users began to see women as responsible for their frustration and started attacking those who didn’t fit their worldview.

Poor Alana never imagined that the term Incel would end up representing an ideological hate movement.

More here:

The woman who founded the 'incel' movement

How did it go from being something small to becoming so big?

What seemed small, like I thought back in 2016, ended up being a much bigger phenomenon. Over time, the term incel became associated with much more radical ideas. In 2014, the Elliot Rodger shooting was one of the events that caught everyone’s attention. He, who identified as an incel, left a manifesto where he said he hated women for not giving him a chance. This tragic act made many people start paying more attention to these communities.

Even though some platforms like Reddit tried to shut down these forums, incel users found other spaces, like 8chan, where they could keep sharing their ideas. And the most shocking thing is that, despite everything, they never completely disappeared.

Why is the concept back in everyone’s mouths now?

Even though it never really went away, the term incel has come back stronger in recent years, especially on platforms like Twitter and TikTok. Now, it’s often used to jokingly describe someone who’s unlucky in dating or hasn’t found a partner. But what bothers me is that the real meaning of the term has gotten lost in all of this.

Before, incel was a term that described lonely people, but now, some use it as a joke or a way to justify negative attitudes. And even if it may seem superficial, behind this term are a lot of problematic and dangerous beliefs.

A major reason why the concept has come back into the spotlight is the 2025 series Adolescence. The show has given a lot of visibility to this topic, making the term incel more well-known in pop culture and reaching more people, especially younger audiences.

More here:

Adolescence Is a Terrifying Cautionary Tale on the Dangers of Incel Culture

What’s happening on social media?

Social media has been key in the reappearance of the term incel. Sometimes, comments made by influencers or incel memes on TikTok might seem harmless, but we need to be careful. Even if it seems like something innocent, in many cases a dangerous ideology is being normalized that still exists in the dark corners of the internet.

What Does It Mean to Be an "Incel"?

As I mentioned, the term "incel" (involuntary celibate) has evolved over time, and today it is associated with a series of problematic beliefs and behaviors, many of which revolve around resentment towards women and society.

➢ Frustration and Resentment: Incels often express frustration due to their lack of success in romantic and sexual relationships. This frustration is often translated into feelings of resentment towards those who are successful in these areas, especially women.

➢ Blaming Women and Society: Within the incel community, it is common to blame women and society for their situation. They perceive women as responsible for their frustration.

➢ Misogynistic Ideology: Incel communities are often marked by misogynistic beliefs, where women are seen as sexual objects or even as enemies. This hatred towards women can lead to dehumanization and the justification of violent attitudes and behaviors.

➢ Hierarchy Among Men: A classification is established among men, dividing them into categories such as "Chads" (attractive and successful men with women) and "incels" (men who struggle to form relationships). This hierarchy reinforces the sense of victimization and social exclusion.

➢ Radicalization and Violence: Some incels have been responsible for violent acts, justifying their actions as a response to their frustration and social rejection.

➢ Challenges for Society: The incel phenomenon presents a challenge for society, as it involves issues of gender-based violence, online radicalization, and the need to address the mental health and well-being of vulnerable young people.

➢ Language and Own Culture: Incel communities use specific language full of jargon and derogatory terms to refer to women and men they consider successful. This language reinforces their ideology and creates a sense of belonging among members.

Examples:

• "Chad": Refers to physically attractive and successful men with women. They are seen as the "ideal" that incels cannot reach.
• "Stacy": The term used to describe attractive and popular women who have many romantic options.
• "Beta" and "Alpha": "Alpha" refers to successful and dominant men, while "Beta" refers to those who are unsuccessful with women.
• "Redpill": Represents the awakening to the "reality" that women only want powerful or attractive men.
• "MGTOW" (Men Going Their Own Way): Describes men who decide not to engage in relationships with women.
• "Blackpill": A more pessimistic view than the "Redpill," where it’s believed that men outside of the "Chad" mold are doomed to loneliness.
• "SMV" (Sexual Market Value): A way of measuring a person’s attractiveness based on their ability to attract a partner.

The danger of taking it lightly

What really worries me now is how the term incel is being used so superficially and lightly. Many people, without thinking much, use it to attack men, as if it were just a simple label for those who complain about their relationships. But what they forget is that the current concept of incel is far from just frustration over not finding a partner.

Nowadays, incel is linked to a pretty wrong and toxic ideological community. Incels aren’t just people who feel lonely, many within this community hold extremely negative and misogynistic beliefs. The idea behind the term has turned into a space where men blame women and society for their personal failures, believing they are owed something. There’s a belief in a hierarchy among men, where the most attractive and successful in relationships are called Chads, while those who aren’t see themselves as victims of an unfair system.

When the term incel is used so lightly, without understanding the full scope of what it implies, there’s a risk of normalizing these wrong beliefs. Real problems are being oversimplified, creating a distorted view of reality that can lead more people to get involved in these dangerous circles without realizing the harm they can cause to themselves and others.

This kind of thing can be dangerous because, when the ideas being spread aren’t questioned, it’s easy for them to become normalized. Negative beliefs about women and men who are successful with them can start to seem like something common, when they’re really very harmful ideas. Using it trivially, without understanding the dangerous ideology behind it, can end up normalizing these kinds of thoughts and seriously affecting how young people think about love, respect, and equality.

I believe that in a world where the internet is within everyone’s reach, it’s super important to talk about these types of “communities” and what they imply, so we don’t fall into the trap of promoting hate or resentment without realizing it. Hopefully this blog helps more people stop and think a bit about what it really means to be an incel, and how social media has a huge impact on the way we understand everything around us. Because in the end, it’s not just a trendy word — it’s something that affects how we connect, how we see ourselves, and how we see others.