Top 15 Reasons to Join the Galactic Empire!
So, you’re thinking about joining the Galactic Empire? Here are some totally convincing reasons to enlist in this “wonderful” organization (lol).
1. Guaranteed Job Security!
Economic crisis? Not in the Empire! They always need more Stormtroopers, mostly because the old ones... well... let’s just say they don’t last long.
2. You Don’t Need Good Aim
In fact, the worse your aim, the better! If Stormtroopers actually hit their targets, the movies would be way shorter.
3. Free Space Travel
Want to visit exotic planets like Tatooine (a horrible desert), Mustafar (a lava nightmare), and Hoth (a giant freezer)? The Empire takes you there! Just don’t expect paid vacations...
4. Stylish Uniforms
If you love a monochrome look, the Empire has the perfect wardrobe! Choose between:
✅ Shiny White (Stormtrooper)
✅ Menacing Black (TIE Pilot)
✅ Corporate Gray (That one officer who’s probably getting Force-choked soon)
5. Decent Healthcare… Sort of
Lose an arm or a leg? Maybe they’ll give you a robotic one—if you’re important. If not, slap on a bandage and get back to work.
6. Your Boss Can Kill You Just by Looking at You
Forget long, boring meetings! Darth Vader handles problems quickly with remote Force-choking. If you see a coworker suddenly floating, it’s time to rethink your career choices.
7. Unlimited Job Openings
The Empire is always hiring. Every battle creates new job opportunities because... well... ships keep exploding.
8. Blowing Up Planets Has Never Been Easier
Annoying neighbors? In the Empire, you can work on the Death Star, where the solution to everything is: "Just blow up their planet."
9. Your Name Could Sound Fancy
Work your way up and you might get a cool title like Moff or Grand Admiral. Imagine adding this to your resume:
"SrDoritos777, Governor of the Outer Rim."
10. You Get a Cool Uniform
Let’s be real, Empire uniforms are stylish. Even if you’re just standing around pressing buttons, you’ll look great doing it!
11. Free Space Travel
Always wanted to visit distant planets? Now’s your chance! You might not get a window seat, but hey, at least it’s free!
12. Pretty Decent Retirement Plan
Lose an arm or a leg? The Empire’s got great cybernetic replacements (see: Darth Vader). Just don’t expect a retirement party.
13. You Get to Work for an Old but Super Powerful Boss
Palpatine might look like a sun-dried raisin, but the dude shoots lightning from his hands. Name another boss who can do that. We’ll wait.
14. You Get a Dope New Persona
Play your cards right, and you could be the next Darth Vader. Just practice your heavy breathing and walk dramatically while your theme song plays in the background.
15. If You Don’t Like It, Just Pull a Finn!
If you realize you made a terrible mistake, just pull a "Finn" and run away with the first ship you can steal. Just be careful, or the Empire might chase you down later.
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