what's been going on in my life basically..

january recap: basically, i went to sum 41 with my friend laura and we met some really cool people and i saw three people i didn't want to see lol... like what were they doing there? needless to say that i didn't go to work the next morning because.. why would i? but then the dread came by, midterms. i just finished my last application to ubc, on the deadline day and now i had to deal with so much more. i was burnt out, mental health SUCKS!!! i cried so much in january. i kept falling asleep the night before my midterms and i barely studied due to that. burn out sucks. i can't stress that enough. i failed my most important midterms and it was horrible. i cried so hard. crashed out so hard. i got into all the schools i applied for except for the ones i wanted to go to for so long. jonah was supposed to go to that sum 41 concert but.. he still hadn't showed up. i considered talking to his mom but i didnt want to stress him any more. ive done a lot of song writing, its been fun. my sister showed me this new store and i couldnt stop buying from there. one dollar for cds and dvds? count me in! theres been no interesting guys lately, except for maybe andrew. man hes so cute, ive been pining on him for a while, my ex got with his so maybe i can try and slide in? man.. my mental health hasn't been this bad in a while but there came things like scorekeeping money and money from my job. speaking of job... why has it been so fucking bad at the store? they're getting rid of everyone, im just lucky to still have it somehow. fran and john left. fran was forced to leave and john transferred himself out of the place, which is strange. the new guy for john was kind of weird, he stares at emma and i so weirdly, maybe he has autism. hes always so nervous and jittery but hes nice i guess. still no new supervisor for us, except.. why is om an asisstant manager for my department?! after everything hes done, he gets promoted? quentins also back? man this thing couldnt get any worse. ive called in sick because of my mental health but they gave me a week off so that was nice but told me it was inconvenient of me to do so since they cant find a replacement, fuck you what if i died because i went to work that day? i dont think ive ever gotten this low but... its gonna get better right? maybe because isaacs new haircut looks so fucking good on him, i want him so bad. 

febrary recap: jonah still isn't back, i have no idea whether he was okay or not, but sarah got an uber request to follow his ride but my dad still couldn't drive home since his ass was loitering in the winners, fuck that guy. it's been pretty lonely, i thought i would do decently at school because i wouldn't be busy with jonah all the time but it's gotten worse. i dont have anyone who really cares like he does. ive asked around for their opinions on it but ive come to the realization that it was an unhealthy way to ask for attention and that it totally wasn't healthy, which was true since he hasn't been outside or talked to anyone in a while. i went to las vegas and was that one of the worst things ever. my mom hasnt changed and i feel like she wouldnt for a while. shes still crashing out and tweaking out. i met bella! with the circumstances that my mom was still being a huge cunt. the food was good though, never felt so fat in my life. my grades are getting a tiny bit better except for the fact i was failing chemistry. i also bought tickets to beabadoobees concert! i got really good seats for $150 which was so cool. i still need to buy more clothes since the europe trip is coming up so... yeah. me and my sister are getting closer again, shes come to an age where i can tolerate her and shes matured a bit. we started off watching big time rush together and she makes me feel like a kid again, i love her more now. we eat out a lot and we're huge fatties now. me and andrew have been on and off, hes been going through a lot so im not really too fazed if we dont get together. laura and luke got together though, so it seems pretty chill. i spent a week off from school, it felt nice because i was able to get myself together (somewhat), i didnt even miss that much work, which was relieving to say the least. mental health still sucks but im working on it. i decided to hangout with an old friend, ryan, and man that was interesting. he asks me "its friday, youre not doing anything?" and we made plans from there. we watched the new dogman movie together, it was great. we went on the bus together, all pressed up against each other, we made brainrot jokes during the movie instead of seeing tyler that night because jonah isnt back yet. we walked along the pier and got high, he paid too. he ghosted me the next day, whatever, the world kept spinning and the grass is still green, hes going through a lot. i am too.