February 14, 2025

It’s sucks. It’s Friday (and Valentine’s Day) and I’m not in love.

Well of course is really not that bad, a lot of people are single this day and I got to spend time with my best friends at school, that I don’t see a lot.

But I will soon be 17 and I have never been in a relationship. And I mean it, not even like in kindergarten or primary school, yk that kind of stuff.

And I have never kissed someone. All I have got are pecks on the lips with my friend.

I have been into two “dates” in the last two years. The first one was with someone I didn’t liked and I had to tell them that in the end. And the second one… I think I don’t need to explain that, I just sometimes hold back my tears and repeat inside my head how unfair it is, when I remember him.

And I know I’m probably not going to marry the person I would be dating at this age, actually I’m pretty sure my soul mate (or something like that) is not at my school or neighborhood.

But the fact that I know that doesn’t change the fact that I want to experience that kind of love. I don’t want to feel like a loser and unlovable. Almost all my friends have had this kind of experiences (I’m pretty sure most of the people of my age too).

But let’s be honest, I only have five friends, and I only go to the house to school and then back home. I don’t even get invited to parties or smth.

One girl gave me her number and I screw it up and the only guy that asked me my ig user and I wanted to accept, never followed me.

Once some classmate said that bi people single makes no sense cause you’re playing on both teams and you’re still losing. Fuck I’m that one losing.

Ok maybe is cause in actually kinda ugly and the only person I really cared if they looked at my chest ( I didn’t want them to) was the only person that I noticed actually did.