lost friends

Missing someone when you're still friends with them is excruciating. They're right beside you, looking at you, yet you miss them because they've completely changed. Just the thought of it burns me inside because there's no solution—I can't bring back the old them, and I can't get used to who they've become. I'm not adapting; their new self no longer sees me the way they once did. I search for them in other people because I need to speak with that person again, yet I never find them. It's like missing someone who's already dead—a sudden death, like a heart attack, a car accident, or perhaps even suicide. They vanish, they change in an instant. Change is natural, of course, but the feeling of missing them is truly overwhelming. It's as if I don't want who they are now; I want them to be the person I loved. I know that somewhere out there, the person I once knew exists—but they're dead.