MBTI Journey

I think I’ve changed my MBTI type more times than I’ve changed my hairstyle (sarcasm).

At 14, I was an INFP. I loved literature, music, and abstract concepts (I didn't even know what 'abstract' meant at the time. Probably), and every MBTI description I read about INFPs seemed to resonate. Looking back, though, I realize that what I mistook for INFP sensitivity was actually INTJ detachment. But at 14, I (obviously) wasn’t self-aware enough to recognize the difference. Plus, I was surrounded by people who labeled me as ‘quiet’ and ‘deep,’ reinforcing the idea that I must be an INFP. Another big influence? Fiction. Many of my favorite characters were INFP-coded(ahem, Noelle Holiday.)—mysterious, poetic, idealistic. I admired them, and maybe, in a way, I wanted to see myself in them.

At 15, I finally admitted it—I wasn’t emotionally driven. Honestly, to 15 year old mee, it was super disappointing. Mostly because, I didn’t really get feelings most the time that I tried to act like I did. If someone asked me, "How do you feel about this?" my brain would short-circuit, trying to translate the question into something logical. That’s when it clicked: I must be a thinker. Specifically an INTP. And honestly? After a while that felt like a win. I leaned into it hard and embraced the whole weird, silent, and detached thinker vibe. I loved debating, analyzing, questioning everything just for the sake of it; heck, maybe even to show off (my lack of intellect). I even convinced myself that my occasional social awkwardness was proof of being an INTP (it was neurodivergency this whole time BTW). But after a while, I started noticing cracks: I wasn’t satisfied. When I realised I was also a planner, I was back to square one. 

By 16, I was tired of questioning myself. If there was one thing I knew for sure, it was that I valued discipline, and getting things done. I wasn’t floating between ideas anymore—I had routines, I was efficient, I had standards (not to flex, but I was also the best student in my year). So, naturally, I thought: I must be an ISTJ. At first, it made sense. I liked order. I followed through on my commitments and plans. I took pride in being the reliable and logical friend; my friends came to whenever they needed a rational perspective, it felt good. While others procrastinated, I got things done early, because why suffer later? The world felt easier when I came to the realisation. But something felt… off. AGAIN. I didn’t just follow systems—In fact I analyzed/criticised them, broke them apart, and rebuilt them in my mind to be better. My mind was always: why settle for the old rules when time goes on? I didn’t just want to follow systems—I wanted to improve and control them, in a way. And with that realization, ISTJ was officially crossed off the list.

A few years ago, I would’ve never even considered being an INTJ. I mean, seriously, me—an INTJ? They’re supposed to be all logical and unemotional (so much for stereotypes), and I’ve always thought of myself as someone who feels things deeply. I was convinced that my emotions were the core of who I was. The idea of being an INTJ just didn’t sit right with me. But over time, I started noticing that the way I thought didn’t quite match up with the other types I had considered. When I told my friends about this whole INTJ thing, they were like, "Ohh, okay, yeah, that makes sense." It was one of those moments where I was like, “Wait, really?” But at the same time, it was kind of a relief because it felt like they got it, even if I wasn’t 100% sure myself. I still don’t go around telling people I’m an INTJ in public, though. It feels like one of those things that’s just for me right now. Maybe it’ll change, maybe not—but for now, it feels right.

Excuse if any grammatical mistakes, English isn't my first language. 

Small note: I'm not interested in getting into cognitive functions, sue me.