You are not the only one that feels like the world is ending.

Warning, I am not an expert, just a gal saying what she knows and how she feels:

I have just re-downloaded Tik Tok due to the ban. I have had my account since musical.ly, so I felt the need to save some old videos and be on the app before its all wiped forever. The videos on my fyp just sent me into a spiral!! I was already worried about the fact that the deletion of Tik Tok is just a way for the US government to silence its citizens, but the gravity of this is hitting me hard. I honestly don't have anything new or revolutionary to say about the topic, I just needed a way to express the pit in my stomach. Knowing that Trump will be president soon, Palestinians are still suffering, Tik Tok is banned, LA is burning, there are fucking drones outside of my house, and sooooo many other things are making me so afraid. But at the same time, I don't want to be afraid, because what if the government is making us afraid on purpose, to cause mass hysteria? I do not know if our generation is smart enough to figure this one out. And I fear that I am unprepared for what is coming in the near future. I don't want to fear monger, but its hard not to express my anxiety right now. It does not help that my family (who I unfortunately still live with) disregard, and shame me for all of these emotions, even when I provide proof to back up my concerns. 

I feel really hopeless, like I can't do anything to help make things right. I do realize however, that capitalism is one of the biggest issues with the country. Everything is ran by like 6 money hungry organizations that could care less if US citizens live, die, or have any quality of life. And I think that we can all agree that that is true, no matter what political group we affiliate ourselves with. I am going to try my best to give as little money as possible to these companies. First, I need to stop buying stuff off of amazon or Shein. I haven't bought anything off of Shein in a while but sometimes the poor moneyless worms in my brain tempt me! But It is no longer an option for me! I am going to try harder to support local businesses, since I am very blessed to live in a town with many. I need to stop focusing on material items in general and just exist without them. I really don't know how to give up Dunkin Donuts guys but I am gonna try. 

I also want to point out, that during Trump's presidency, I am going to try really hard to avoid putting the blame on Trump's supporters. Although I know my frustration and confusion with their ideals is valid, I realize that that is exactly how the government wants us to feel. They want us to fight, and stay separate, so we never have enough power to take them down. They want to keep as many people brainwashed as they can (makes sense why they banned tik tok huh). At the end of the day, we are all angry about the same thing. We cannot afford to live! Some groups just unfortunately blame that on the wrong reasons because they are manipulated to believe that whatever Fox News, or their right wing faceBook feed, tells them is true. They are fed everything-phobic propaganda to distract them, while the same people feeding them this are taking everything they have. They do not understand that a "business man" does not make a good president. The best business men ruin the lives of everyone around them to succeed. Donald Trump will ruin the lives of the average citizen, so the 1% will succeed (more then they already do- GLUTTONS).

I have been binging Neil DeGrasse Tyson videos because I love him and his thorough explanations of how the universe works makes me at least know that I exist and am real. And that makes me feel better. I am thankful that I have silly little SpaceHey in these harsh times LOL.