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So a sort of mind dump because i am a raging man hater.
TW// mentions of 🍇, SA
Horseshoe Theory
So for those of you unfamiliar with this theory ill write a quick summary. Basically, rather than far left and far right being on opposite ends of a linear continuum on the political spectrum, it rather resembles a horse shoe. Centrists being in the middle, left being in the middle of left side, far left being on the end, same thing on the right. Can also say going so far sided it inherently is the same.
EDIT: i was under believe terfs and radfems were one like if u were radfem u were a terf ive since learnt and quite like the definition
This is a theory I 100% think is correct since I consider myself a slight example of due to my feelings with men. I am in no way a rad fem due to its transphobic and other controversial ideas, I just often find myself experiencing shit things due to men, having shit interactions with men, etc. I have found myself to be in a situation where i can find parallels with misogynist men comments and my thoughts as a man hater. These aren't large parallels mainly just things like "There's no good men". If it's not obvious by now yes I am a lesbian.
The S.W. Industry and how its Unethical
Btw i am not as educated in this as i am with others so please feel free to let me know more!! This will branch off in 2 different ways! 1. how it exploits, 2. why if you're doing it by choice you shouldn't
1. As we all know this industry has been made for male pleasure and men have benefitted from it. These sites are known to not be properly paying for many on it. Many sites have had an incident of letting videos of a non consenting victims due to their horrible and weak systems of security. Many sites especially big ones definitely still have some. An example is how a popular site has been under investigations and what stuck with me was how even a 15 year old was found on it. Companies Mastercard and Visa have found their cards to be used the most on that site. I'm quite grateful for many American states banning that website.
2. If you are in a position where you don't need to do S.W. but choose to do so, i believe you shouldn't. It is not empowering. You are telling men that you are fine with and want to be objectified by sexualising yourself on these sites. You are feeding into this idea that women can be objectified. Feminism is not individualism, it's fighting for female liberation. How are we supposed to destroy this idea when you are helping it for your ego. Feminism isn't just about you.
My General Experiences
As a 13 year old girl, i haven't experienced much, but enough to know it's men. As a young child I wasn't allowed to be too girly and "doll-like" in public due to the chance of weirdos or men as my own father told me. I remember i started wearing slightly cropped shirts from late 11/ early 12. My dad was against it for a long time although i had also been told i had a too conservative and boyish by him. He contradicts himself. I just started getting used to being feminine by age 10 again due to his teachings. Even other ways, putting on simple mascara now is still too much. I've also learnt I can't be around some of my own family alone since "men are men". Blood isn't thicker than water in my home. Even i know things that i just have to deal with which i won't share. This may be due to the fact that i treat my family as people and not someone extra special since we share the same dna.
Rant over!! let me know your own opinions I would love to hear how you feel, if you agree, disagree, etc!!
Comments
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George the pile of frogs 𓆏
Hi i just want to say that being a radical feminist does not inherently make someone a transphobe. radical feminism is just the idea that the system is fucked and needs to be destroyed completely to end the patriarchy. TERFS (trans exclusionary radical feminists) are transphobic and the rest of the movement does not like them for the most part. besides that good post (:
YES!! thank u for the compliment but ive since learnt after posting!! ill edit it now but thanks again!
by sara ✯; ; Report
kitkatanddog
fellow (17-year-old) man hater here! you're further ahead than I was at 13, & that's something to be proud of. but it's worth being careful about how you interact with feminism for the sake of your mental health. I find myself often having to step back from my research because I feel so heartbroken at other womens' suffering, & if you find yourself feeling that way as well, it's okay to put yourself first. you can't dissolve the patriarchy if you're stuck in despair. (I have a post somewhere about using activism to make change rather than pick targets to witchhunt, which I'll attach after I've finished writing here)
you said your dad was conservative- it's possible that he himself means no harm, but your exposure to conservative thought at a young age increases your risk of getting sucked into the "tradfem" mind poison, because its ideology feels familiar. (I can confidently say that because that's exactly how it happened to me!) just be wary of that as you get older, & the fact that the sort of man looking for a tradwife isn't looking for a woman who is already obedient- he wants a woman who is independent & courageous that he can break. this is, of course, part of the brainwashing & how the movement draws new women in- other women say that they were just a "crazy raging feminist" until their husband came along & "fixed" them. it is completely untrue.
on that note, it's often misunderstood that radical feminism is transphobic. it's not inherently; the specific term for that which is is "terf"- "trans-exclusionary radical feminism". they often have valuable commentaries on the patriarchy, so don't totally discount what they have to say.
I'm considering working on my own post about the harm that sex work brings to all women, everywhere. it's such a complicated & firestorm-inducing topic that I keep hesitating, though. I feel a little more motivated now.
link to the post I was talking about:
https://ibb.co/PTPgYDJ
I only found this recently so I haven't fully absorbed it yet (especially not in relation to my inability to tolerate men), but it's a revelation I find really valuable. if there's anything worth internalising at 13 as a young feminist, it's that.
by kitkatanddog; ; Report
thank you for showing me this site!! i have since looked more into radical feminism and seen that, learnt terfs proper meaning cause of you though so thanks! The link you've sent is something i should definitely take into account and think about more often i've noticed it within my own behaviours unfortunately but i just need to grow. overall thank you!!
by sara ✯; ; Report
of course, I'm glad to have made a difference! & don't worry, you have so much time to grow- trying to improve will get you further than trying to be perfect c:
by kitkatanddog; ; Report
Heather
Men who complain about women doing sex work but also don’t realise it is men who actively fund women’s sex work. I think sex work should be allowed, but I don’t think it should have to be someone’s last resort if they are financially struggling and that it should be a choice. I think that if it stays legal that conditions for people in the sex work industry should improve to keep them safe and secure as the horror stories I hear make me want it to be shut down all together. If conditions don’t improve, they should just get rid of it
I agree with you and your approach is much more realistic than my dream idea. Sex work is also quite likely to stay legal so we need better laws. unfortunately due to the nature of some, bad stuff is likely to happen but hopefully if these laws come, they get their justice. I really dislike how people use sex work as a last resort to survive since i don't think you should be forced into it. I
by sara ✯; ; Report
(sorry sent too early) i quite like your perspective on it and thank you for sharing it since im less educated on it! have a nice day
by sara ✯; ; Report
Thank you ^_^
by Heather; ; Report