poetry dump!!

wrote some weird ass shitty poems. enjoy? idk if you will but i'll put them here anyway

will update as i write more uhhh 

Churned in Cerebrospinal Fluid

i try to sound profound

like i'm educated

as if i know what i'm talking about, that i've turned the words over in my mind time and time again

it might be word vomit, but it's been churning in stomach acid long before i spewed it

i'm not sure it works, i'm certain people still see me as some dimwit

the capitalization - the lack of, i remind myself, is sure to support that perception

I wish people would take me seriously, wish they would realize I am more than what they originally thought of me. That I could be everything I want to be, I can be what they want me to be. I will let them form me. I will become clay in their hands, if they so wish. Do they wish to mark me?

but i'll never be soft enough, will i?

am i not malleable enough for you? does it take to long to warm me, am i not suitable enough for you, right off the bat?

i thought so

it doesn't seem to matter, no matter how i act, how i present myself, i'll always be the same to you

I will always bend to your perception. I would do anything to fit your will. i do. i do anything for you.

do you think i'm profound? are my thoughts deep, my vocabulary vast?

do you think i'm smart?

or am i just another empty head?

i can be smart

i'll google another synonym

roam around the poetry section

psychology, philosophy, politics, gender studies, religious theory, ancient history

i won't pick up a single book 

i'll read the titles, skim the covers, leave the store

do you think i'm smart? for pretending?

i can be smart

i can be profound

for you

for them

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Fractal

i am a product of everyone i have ever loved and they are a product of me.

i have been molded and shaped by every person i have ever held dear and i see them reflected in my actions.

i am the sum of a hundred people across almost sixteen years.

yet everyday i become more and more myself. i step into my own skin and every other day i step out again.

i am a creation with a hundred creators. 

a hundred tiny pieces glued together to form another maker. in the worlds most ordinary fractal.

i am a product of everyone i have ever loved. yet no one is a product of me.

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