Can A Kenku Cook Carve a Kehtarian Mulch Munchers Made Manifest by Melpert?

We started our day by leaving our warm, fluffy beds, ready for some dino-jungle hunting fun. 🤭🙌 Our party set off: Me, Melpert, Remy, Donovan, Vasoya, and Eiran together as our hunting and dance party.👯 The jungle was really thick, so we had to walk instead of driving. 🏝️Remy and Melpert flew over the ground while Donovan and I, city-bred, struggled with nature. Vasoya seemed to be having a great time, singing a hunting song. 🎶🎻I need to get the lyrics from her later—maybe Melpert and I can perform it after dinner. 🕵️‍♀️🎶

We wandered into a spongy fungus ground, and a giant mushroom poofed out spores all up in our faces. 🍄💗 Remy zipped vertically, avoiding the fungus spooge. Unsure what to do with it, Melpert suggested over Group Chat, "Let's just move on. I think we can just walk past it." 📞🔝

Following a well-worn pathway, we were suddenly surrounded by purple vine pig monsters called Kehtarian Mulch Munchers! 👾💫 are some tongue-twister names! Remy shot one in the head, nearly killing it. 🔫 Donovan turned his gun to Flamethrower mode 🔥🔫, setting the jungle and some weird pig monsters on fire. I smacked one with my fire ribbon. Suddenly, I saw a vine reaching to decapitate Vasoya and yelled, "Watch Out!" 📢 helping her only take some damage. She spun around and cut it in half with her Plasma Doshko. Donovan made the ground weird again and lasered another vine pig. 💪💅

These vine guys made noises that hurt my tummy. 👿💀 We cut them down slowly and moved through the jungle without encountering more. 🎋🎍We then faced a forest fire growing in the jungle's underbrush. 🧯I tried to shoot it with my frost gun but missed it. Melpert, seeing my random shooting, moved some underbrush to prevent the fire from spreading near us. 🌋 Remy suggested shoving the locals into his space sack to fly them to safety. Melpert, with his Colony Management Simulator 325AG Excel Version skills, saved the day with help from Remy and Eiran knocking down plants. 📲💱 This will make a great promo piece for our Duos reel! 📹🎶

We camped for the night, chatting about the firefighting. 💐I nudged Vasoya, suggesting she give us a VO testimonial for our Duos reel intro about Melpert's gamer lore heroism. 📠📡The next day, Vasoya woke us up an hour before light—the best time of day planetside! 🏝️🏞️ Eiran tried giving instructions on walking through giant mushroom pathways. 🌟🌈

Remy and Melpert flew upwards while Donovan and I hesitated. 🔝

… … Should we go into the sack? 🎒

Melpert resolved this by mind-tethering us, letting us fly like him. 💪💫💬

Battle with Zavozaya

We arrived at Zavozaya, the giant dino-monster. 🦖🍄 I encouraged Vasoya, "You can do it, you can do the thing!" 🤩 We got hit with spore bombs. Remy's initial shots failed against its strong armor. 👻 After a few fiery bullets, we broke through the armor, but Vasoya tanked every hit, taking serious injuries. 💀 Remy shot through the monster's head, I followed up with a ribbon smack, and Vasoya fell unconscious. 🎯 As I dragged her away, her gun went off as her arms went limp at her sides, blowing the monster's brains out. 🔫💥

💗🙌Task failed successfully—work complete! 🙌💗

After the battle, we found ancient language ruins. Suddenly, we got a message from the fleet:

"Crashing Wave;
Still Water;
Crashing Wave;
Still Water."

I had to check my blog to remember the code phrases. 🤔
From my blog post:
“Crashing Wave: Sudden attack from Star Empire forces
Still Waters: Ascendant paragon passive state”
So, I guess the ascendant paragon’s okay but what’s going on up there?

Suddenly, it started raining bullets or rocks—orbital bombardment! 👹💔

I called for everyone to dive for cover, "Everyone, brace yourselves!" 💥💢

Melpert suggested burrowing. We dug into the ground, covering ourselves with dirt. 🐰⬇️

Who was shooting at us? Not the Vesk nor the Azlanti. What the heck? 🔍🕵️‍♂️

After the bombardment, we found Vasoya and Eiran. A giant mushroom tree trunk had crashed onto Eiran's leg, possibly damaging his knee bones. 🌆😥 Remy's mostly metal body was fine. I'll let Remy handle that talk later tonight... 💻🐀