loss, grief, and the end of the world.

november has not been my month. i broke up with my ex-boyfriend because he wasn't who i thought he was nor who he presented himself to be. exactly a week later i opened instagram and saw a post from a blue checkmark account claiming that my pop-pop had died. i called my parents in tears, praying that it was another hoax just to be told that he really was dead and that it was in fact not another hoax. the next week i was at the funeral home holding in all the tears i could because i wanted to seem stronger than i actually am. i broke immediately at the gravesite, disappointed in myself i broke more until i eventually allowed myself to crumble in the dead of night where i felt safest to do so. to be honest if it weren't for syd, tearplanes, and hallie keeping me company during this hellish month i probably wouldn't have made it this far. loss has proven time and time again to be the thing that hurts me the most, and grief has proven time and time again that the end of the world is never truly the end.