Idk Fuckass vent it sounds super fucking edgy oqaefnded

Seriously what's the point of even going anymore if I can't get my grades to be better. Not to mention I'll forget everything I learned from there sooner or later so it's basically meaningless (to me) In the long run. I'm trying so hard for things I know I'll forget in the future. I feel like shit. I want to kill myself, I don't want to be near anybody or anyone at this point, I feel miserable just existing. I don't want to go to school cause I'm already so sick of carrying the burden of being dumber than my peers all the time. I don't want to go to school cause of the constant work load that I feel the need to get done immediately but just can't cause I'm always trying to get it done. I don't want to go to school anymore because nothing is ever enough. Nothing is ever enough for my grade. Nothing is ever enough for my dad, Nothing is ever enough in general. I wish I was as smart as I used to be. Maybe then life would be better. Maybe if I was better at everything and could make everything better than maybe just maybe My existence wouldn't be so pressuring. Maybe then I would be able to tolerate living again. I wish I was a kid again. I wish I could just be a clueless happy kid again Why is this happening to me I hate this. I hate my life, I hate myself, I hate my dad, I hate school, And I hate how difficult life is. I wish it was easier. I wish me and my girlfriends could just live together and not be bothered by society and it's crippling urge to make living so much harder. ouhghh I miss my wives. Sorry If this was super fucking edgy T-T,,