writing: Lover boy.

Original posted on my AO3: link

I wish I could explain how I love. everyone seems to understand their love language except me. "my love language is physical touch" "mine is gift giving" "mine is acts of service" mine? mine is my own I suppose, not to be put in a box like others. 
my love is soft, but also not, is thick and strong but also gentle and soothing and very much not. it is joy and laughter and nervousness and quiet appreciation and anxiety and deep devotion and something primal, something unnameable and unmalleable and unboxable. i will bring you things, hold you till my arms have no strength, do even the simplest of things for you, I will write story upon story and your name on every surface, bring your visage to life under the tip of my pencil to keep your memory in my mind and notebook, carve your name into the very foundation of my home, think of you every time I see your favorite anything. the flowers you love? I pulled a few and pressed their petals into my books, hung their dried stems from my ceiling after all their leaves withered. I would sew my bag with string in your favorite color, save rocks the color of your eyes, walk and dream of you as I looked at the sky and stars, hold my own hand and wished I could replicate the feeling of yours. I would look at books and songs that remind me of you, savouring every page and second if it meant encapturing your memory even to the slightest degree. I would buy your favorite scents and light the candles and incense around my room just for you, would paint you something with your favorite colors, would craft playlists specifically for you. just ask, and I would do my best to replicate. I dedicate myself tirelessly to my love, loyal and unwavering in my support and adoration. I will be there when you need to talk, when you want someone to hold you after a long day, when you just need someone to be there  with you, anytime you need me. I might not be everything you want in a partner, if you expect children or to have my body under yours, but I will do what I can to keep you at least a little happy with what I have to offer