writing: (Listen) Can You Hear My Heartbeat Thump?

OG posted on my ao3: link

there's something about trying to forget her entirely that will never be possible; the joy, the adrenaline, the excitement and content that filled the blank spaces between the painful, like flowers growing, clinging to a barbed wire fence. songs and laughter, soft kisses, gentle hands, eyes staring into each other like a blue river hitting brown riverbanks, quiet whispers and promises never to be fulfilled, but sweet like sugar. late nights under the stars, the moon, soaking up the quiet out in the desert, secrets shared in confidence out where no one else could hear (oh if only we had accepted that we wouldn't last, had simply gone our separate ways, maybe things wouldn't be so dark and poisonous now). nights spent trading monster tabs for kisses, necklaces and presents, initials on a tree, songs upon songs in the playlist with our names, her name scribbled on my arm on my paper on my books on my walls everywhere, her presence inescapable, late nights spent dreaming of her, rings and bracelets and empty words (her hunger knew no bounds), laughter and secretive kisses, hands held under blankets, her head on my lap as I sung to the radio, staring at the stars and praying for this joy to last forever