Remy

So this is really weird way to start my first blog but something weird happened i still can't wrap my head around and i need to talk about it somewhere

This tuesday the 1st of october my dog passed away. It was really sudden and out of nowhere, I knew he had some health issues but i shrugged them off as "he'll get throigh it they always do." But my mom had called me and told me he had actually passed away because of a heart attack. He was gonna be 2 years old in december so he was still very younf but he just had health issues and his body couldnt take it anymore. there's apparently nothing we couldve done.

I feel like i had a lot going on already with a bunch of tests anf bad grades that were flooding me that week and having some personal things w my gf that day but who turned out to be really sweet about the whole situation and my biggest support.

The last time ever seeing him being when he was already completely dead was horrible, he smelled differently, he was cold, his eyes were scary and he didn't react at all when i saw him obviously but it was just so weird. I'm happy i got to properly say goodbye though even if it wasnt actually him i got to feel him near me one last time.

Since going home everything is horribly dull. It feels really empty. My other do has no idea whats going on or why her little brother isnt here anymore, the cats keep meowing and obviously dont know either, my family and I dont laugh at all and everything just seems so horribly quiet. Moving around my house and going to places I expect him to be only that he isnt there at all.

He was genuinely the sweetest dog youd ever meet. he would come up and cuddle you on the couch, nudge you for attention and just overall the most sweetest to everyone kind of dog. I can't express how much the world needed his kindness. I wish i had more time with him, I barely had two years, I really wasn't prepared for him to just leave so i think i'm still somewhat in denial.

I barely have anything of his, it feels like his scent is gone basically anywhere besides his colar and even then it's not wntirely the same. I have a his paw print in smudged ink that im gonna get tattoed someday. 

I miss him, I need him back.