RLS NOOSE

I think I've tried my best...at least I hope so. I'm trying so hard to detach myself from someone who probably forgot I even exist.

I know I'm somehow damning myself by going after her but god... it's worth a try...right?. she gets me just as I get her and I just threw that away for a dumb hetero cause I told me she was transmasc at the time. 

she was perfect...she is ideal for a person like me and I took it for granted even though I had feelings for her. Was I a masochist? was I depressed? yes to both. I want to make it right but I'm pushing myself so deeply into her life for no reason other than the fact that I miss her. 

I'm not ready to let go and I don't think I will. sounds pathetic but at this point, I don't care. I'll do anything to get her back even as just friends, I'll still treat her with as much care I possibly can. i cant ruin it for the third time and I don't want to imagine any of us leave for the second time, I don't think I can handle that.

anyways! first entry!! felt like just venting and stuff

XOXO Kerri