boredom+Tired=Tiredom

I'm so tired rn

like what do i do?

when i'm at school, i have my friends, who's more like my family

but there's still that small part inside of me that feels like this is one big joke

like when i text them, and they read it, but didnt reply

i know theyre busy

i am too sometimes

but what if they're not? what if they just didn't want to talk to me, don't ever want to talk to me

and when they do talk, they're just bored, and I'm they're last resort

i know it's not true, at least with some of my friends

but there are some, that I don't know

what if they're talking about me behind my back, about that one thing i did last year, that no one remembers, but i do, and it keeps me up at night, cringing, or mad at myself, because I wasn't more mature in sixth grade

i was too "cringy" in sixth grade

but everyone looks back on their past, and has something bad to say about it

most people won't even remember what is said that one time, or that time I got in a fight and lost even if it was four against one, or when i did something weird, or what I said came out different from how I thought it, or when I told myself not to cry in front of my friends, even if I knew they would support me

but the fact that I remember is weird, and i hate it

I'm tired 

I'm tired of people

I'm tired of trends that make me feel like I'm not as good as everyone else

I wouldn't normally type such sad stuff, but when I'm alone, in private, and no one around, all of my thoughts get depressing and sad, but I do have happy thoughts, and I'll write them soon, but i doubt anyone would read this, like i honestly forgot what a blog was before signing up for spacehey