Am I the weird for wanking at sigma YouTube shorts? (THIS IS A JOKE!! NOTY REAL!!!)

I, 52 male, was on YouTube shorts a year ago and I kept getting sigma phonk videos. I thought they were weird, and forgot about it. Just 2 months ago, I realized how hot the men in the videos were and decided to fiddle the diddle while watching. I did NOT realize how much shiet I would be in months later.. 10 times a day I fiddle my diddle to them and hearing the phonk itself turns me on... what do I doooo!>?!?!?!???!?!? 

guys this is a joke pls I'm just bored in class