im fucked up. i just wanna end all this.

like a month ago, I got back from the mental hospital. they held me there for 40 days. my parents trying to instill to me that doctors in here cured me, but I don't feel that. my schizophrenia became only stronger with those stinky antidepressants they gave me. I still hear voices in my head, I still see some weird creatures. nothing helped me. everything's only getting worse. I still think about ending my life (I want it since 7, and tried to do this multiple times), I pray for death. I don't know if I should do this, because if I survive, my parents will tuck me into mental hospital again. now, I'm just laying in my bed and crying. I just wanna die finally.