my crush fell asleep with me on call so im awkwardly trying to be quiet while typing this, but hooooly fuck hes so cute. like i know i shouldnt say that about like a boy my age and stuff and whatever but like hes so adorable. not to be like weird about it but i like when he falls asleep with his camera on because he just. looks so cute ahhhhhh......... i love him, i really do. he was being so silly in call with our other friends but i couldnt help to just stare at him. i want to admire him forever. hes like i dont even know how to explain but hes so perfect no matter what hes doing. i just want to watch him live life honestly. i want to spend every special moment with him, even if he does not want to do that with me. i want to be close to him, to whisper his name, to hold him in my arms, to ramble to him about how i admire every little thing about him, to hear his breathing grow softer as he falls asleep in my arms, to gently stroke his hair to help him sleep better, i want to be there for him at all times. i want to smother his face in kisses while giggling, watching him get playfully annoyed while not bothering to push me away, burying my face into his neck as i inhale his scent while feeling his pulse beat. i want to touch him, to feel him against my skin. i want to feel his breath hit my face as we stare at each other with goofy smiles, my eyes half-lidding as i take in the sight of him, to which he laughs and buries his face in my hair. i want him. i want him soooo bad. i will wait eternity for him, honestly. i would rather die than be with someone else.

Entry #42
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