Better than ever

Alright, back better than ever. Besides having to check if my liver is a match with my mom, I have not been up to much. Now I did recall a great story of my childhood years while in my situation. Oh no lusamine's wife is going to tell a harrowing tale. Time to audibly sigh everyone.

Now that we're nice and exasperated, I shall introduce the time I got flour and butter all over my parent's kitchen floor. I was like 7 okay? So I totally am not super crazy for this one. Although objectively worse has been done later. Now little me was trying out this thing called a prank okay? I got pranked by my parents that day. I was told to expect brownies after my educational hours. Oh I was excited but instead I was introduced to actual Brown letter Es. How evil and how awful right? Before I was about to reach for the matches and the gas oven, the concept of a prank was told to me. I was so shocked and enlightened, yet I was also a tiny child and I did not quite understand pranks well. Naturally I was thinking that causing chaos was a prank idea! Perfect revenge for paper confectionaries if I say so myself

I had many an idea past this point. Some involving hand grenades some not. Now the best of the ideas, the most doable too, was the make a huge swear wording mess on the kitchen floor. How did I think this was good? No idea I was a kid. To make this horrible idea go, little me had a good option. The fridge! Full of expensive, mess making material. Now I had to wait to set up this awful "prank". Parents were napping after about half an hour. This was going to be perfect, I am totally not a rude brat for this one. This is totally normal child behaviour

Time for step 2 kiddos, I grabbed the flour from the fridge because we are weird and we keep our flour there. The bag of it was the size of a 2 year old almost. I had to basically just choke slam it to the ground to spread it everywhere. The floor looked like it had anthrax at this point. Now this biohazard floor needed another touch I thought...hmmmmmmmm. Oh yeah a whole tub of margarine. Yeah spread it around, I wiped it on the ground with a hand towel. This was starting to stink terribly, the reek of nasty oil caked flour was giving me harrowing visions of the future.

After 30 minutes, the floor was speckled and looked like a bigger disaster than my IQ test reports. All I had to do here was hide and wait for my poor parents to witness their child being a dick. When they awoke, it didn't take long to hear loud profanities being shouted. Imagine with me anyone reading this, you have a kid and they got a toddler sized bag of flour all over the kitchen alongside a whole tub of margarine. Yeah I would probably put the child up for adoption. Thankfully that was not what happened to me, I was so grounded that I had to spend an extra week or two in order to loosen myself from the dirt.

After a solid talk on what a prank is, we are no longer allowed to perform any pranks. On top of that, I also learned how to clean flour out of wood panels at least. I learned my lesson, and to this day I don't really prank anyone anymore. Lest a big messy disaster will present itself

- Lusamine's idiotic concubine