late night thinking

i saw this post on tiktok about what the afterlife is. the narrator learns you go through judgment and must pass a test. 

the test is that you are put in a room with the most prominent versions of yourself and what you end up doing determines where you end up. 

ive been thinking so much about this. 

i imagine the versions of myself that i might see. 

i stare at a version where my path was brighter. one where i thrived in school. confronted and dealt with my mental illness effective. someone who i dreamed of being. 

a version of myself continuing life at the local university. i continue to stay with my high school boyfriend

the life lessons i learned from moving alone to will never happen. i chose the path of least resistance. 

finally, a version that cracked. the voices won. i spend months in the psychiatric ward. 

"how do you feel?" 

"what thoughts are currently running through your mind?" 

i dont know what i would do staring at each version of myself. will my guilt - my hatred for the things ive done - ever be confronted and resolved?