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i always fall into sin. maladaptive daydreaming, lust, greed, slothfulness, gossiping, judging others, and many, many, more.
maladaptive daydreaming is the sin that i struggle with the most. i never even realized that it's a sin, but it makes sense to me now that He has pointed it out to me. daydreaming has disrupted my studies and sleep, leading me to struggle with understanding in school; it's also one of the reasons why i can't fall asleep immediately. it also kind of ruined the way i see about some aspects in life. daydreaming disconnects me from reality, and it sets up inappropriate expectations just for me to become disappointed in an outcome of an actual scenario in real life. i have decided to try battling against this sin. if i ever find myself dazing off over fake scenarios in my head, i'll take it as a sign to call Him and guide me. if i ever find myself unable to sleep at night, i will use the time He gave me to pray. i believe that if i were able to stop my maladaptive daydreaming, my life will be better for more than a hundred times. losing sleep, experiencing tough times in studying, and setting unrealistic expectations- those will be
lust is another one that i've been battling since 7 years ago. the desire to try something beyond me, something against His eyes, and something that may harm another person- those are the stuff that have always troubled my goal to retain my innocent and carefree soul i had before lust tried to consumed a part of me. to seek pleasure in something that my heart will regret later on- it's hard for me to stop myself. and even if i do try to stop and see progress, the devil sneaks into my dreams halfway, making it harder for me to restrain. the last time i was sober was on the middle of may, which started from the start of the year. now, i've done it again; i've sinned. countless times. as an adolescent with fluctuating hormonal levels, i genuinely need help from another person to end this battle.
gossip makes me feel uncomfortable, and i don't think my introverted nature is the reason; it's much deeper than that. ever since i've entered junior year two years ago, i've participated in several gossip sessions in my only group of girl friends. whether it may be positive or negative gossip, i was always eager to listen in to some tea. for some reason, i also couldn't shut my mouth in spreading gossip. at some point, i became the person swore I'd never become. i always get this feeling whenever i participate in gossip, i feel like this group of people would do the same thing to a story of mine, which i always felt about this one girl on our friend group. when i participate in gossip, i try my best to not say anything that's on my mind, because i feel like it's irrelevant and unhelpful to the situation. i guess i'm blessed i hate gossip.
in line with gossip, i just noticed that i've been judging my sisters and brothers much more compared to back then. why was i so hateful for no reason? i don't know, too.
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Nic
You said it yourself...you're an adolescent with fluctuating hormonal levels.
The caterpillar does not beat himself up for not having morphed into a butterfly.
Although I am no longer Christian, I recognize there are kernels of truth to appreciate in the Bible. Notably, how certain avenues of thought lead to suffering. A certain level of lust and greed can lead to suffering, but having a moderate desire for pleasure and money is only human.
Jesus reminds us that we should keep these desires in check so that they do not consume us.
On the other hand, to deprive ourselves entirely of joys in life would be equally as bad as giving in to them completely. We have to find a mindful balance.
Dead Weight
This might not be what you want to hear, but... why not transform the sin, which as an imperfect human, is and always be a part of you, into something better?
Daydreaming, when properly channeled, is what makes nobodies into authors. Lust and gossip can be similarly subjugated to the written form. You can even turn the horrors in your head into parables and cautionary tales if you wish so.
Admit your sins, mold them and turn them into something you can be proud of.
not_ian
As another Christian and fellow brother of yours, i feel you. The battle with sin is just something so, so hard. We do our best to be better, do better and be a better person, yet our flesh still is weak. There is times where we simply dont even feel worth be called children of God. But, as sad as our condition may be, He never gives up on us; you surely know that, dont you?
I will be praying for you. Even tho i still battle with some of those you mentioned, the relationship with Jesus surely is helping me overcome them. May He bless you with His love, and His presence everyday.