Day 140 of going into alcohol (caffeine) withdrawal like Harrier Du Bois

The moment you have all been awaiting... did I complete my tasks... well you'll have to wait and see. Honestly it took a lot out of me to get to writing this, I'm just not feeling all too great rn BUT WE BALL! Let's ball!!! 

I had no school today and I don't tomorrow either. So I had plenty of time to play catch up and all that and I'm really tired.

First I had to clean my desk and that went well, it's still a bit cluttered but I don't know where to put the rest of it, there's stuff I didn't know we owned. Like these expensive glass perfume holders, how do I have that? Why do I have that? I remember when I got up and went to clean my desk, my sister made me breakfast and there's a big tv on my desk where I watch Seinfeld, I wanted to clean up first then watch TV with my breakfast but the breakfast came early. By the way, I don't know if its the coffee or breakfast but I felt horrible, it tasted great though but idk, my stomach hurt. Anyway my desk is finally clean. This was meant to be the easiest task but it took the most out of me.

Then came my writing project thingy, I did that. I'm writing something to get back into the swing of review work and it was kind loosey, stream of consciousness and I finished the first draft so tomorrow, I only have to edit it and then make it nice for posting and then actually post if. I don't wanna give it away but it's about night time and how the time of day affects the media you consume. I talk about Devon Hendryx, Martin Scorsese, Steven Universe, SpongeBob and I forgot what else but still, it came to me while I was watching K-On a while ago and I was excited to actually write it. Now i finished the first draft so I'm back, I think! I've made it past the biggest hurdle.

I set the task for exercise and I'm so embarrassed, I had a little workout that I did like every day, it was easy and light but I could not finish that small workout today, I was so tired and it's not even difficult or anything. I think I'm just getting weak and I usually talk about my health here in the exercise parts, I'm slipping, too much coffee again. I had 4 cups today, not good. But I'll try to drink less tomorrow. I think I've become dependent on it. I joke around about it but I'm actually probably addicted to caffeine. I'm definitely addicted to caffeine. It's not an addiction that gets taken too seriously but I remember reading about it in like 6th grade and thinking about how silly it sounded but now look at me. I've been losing sleep because I drink too much of it. I didn't sleep at all one night actually. I'll drink less tomorrow, I gotta go into withdrawal so I can be like Harrier!! Going to mothdrawal mode. 

I finished most of my work today! Let's goooooooo!! Very cool!!! Let's gooooooooo!!! I still have science and ughhgvhgv design. Fuck that! I think there's a lot of room for me to improve in that subject but I've actually gotta try if I wanna improve. I think the work made me a little tired though but lemme sort of lay out the work I have left to do, science summaries, science practice tests, science redox, math, design question 2 and 4. That sounds doable as long as I start soon.

Last task was to finish East of Eden which I couldn't do, I don't have the motivation to read as much of that as I did when I first started but LET ME RAVE FOR A BIT. I do wanna finish it because listen, Adam Trask is one of the greatest characters in fiction. You know how teen boys look at characters like Guts or the Vagabond dude or whatever because they're inspirational. Adam Trask is so inspiring. Skip the next paragraph for spoilers!!!

The way his character develops! He starts out as a helpless and weak child then grows up to be a nobody, drifting about, then he falls in love and gets his life together but when his wife leaves him. He goes on autopilot and he had children with her too so he's got these kids he's not taking care and he's like processing everything. His slave, Lee does all the work. Then Samuel, this other character knocks some sense into him and that conversation between Adam, Samuel and Lee is a massive turning point. When he goes to see his wife again, calm, not angry, not hateful, it's beautiful because he's not thinking about her, he's thinking about himself and he's doing it for his own catharsis. I'd say he's thinking about his sons but not at this point because THERES MORE! His kids are growing and he's still kinda absent and his one son is kind of rebellious and ends up in jail. When Adam goes to pick him up, the love and just joy he feels towards his sons is beautiful. I cried. Like he becomes invested in their lives for the first time and the rebellious son feels admiration towards his father as well and it's so sweet. Samuel and Lee and Adam have a great dynamic. I could go on and on but I'll save that for another day...

SPOILERS OVER!! 

Let's set out my tasks for tomorrow. 

1. Exercise (and drink less coffee and more water)

2. Edit my writing piece

3. Finish East of Eden

4. Finish work

5. Journal 

Also! Recommendation!! It's time for your music education! I've thought about this one and I have to recommend a Quadeca song from his new album which I relistened to and I loved it. It went from a 61 to an 81 maybe even 91. The song I wanna recommend is PRETTY PRIVILEGE and if you like that, listen to the whole album. I feel bad for ever hating Quad, I'm officially a Quadhead. Anyway, enjoy, chat! 

Ramble section! I was thinking about Podcasts again! And remember H3H3?? I haven't seen a single h3h3 video, I've never seen a video about them but for some reason I'm familiar with them?? Like idk how or why?? Are they good??? I don't know their politics but Ethan works with Hasan sometimes so i assume left leaning. Why am i talking about them? Umm idk. Oh yes! I see a lot of hate for them and I say this as a big hater! Okay! A lot of hate towards stuff is just bigotry. That's obvious, you don't need someone to tell you that but I mean like I went back and looked at some of the stuff I saw people hating and they were looking for ways to hide their bigotry behind flimsy arguments like look at Steven Universe hate. Some of it is justified but a lot of it is because the show is gay and its a good show! Idk, I just think it's good to go back and reevaluate what is haterism (just hating something because you don't like it) and hatred (bigotry).

My fingers hurt from typing this. I'm gonna stop now, good night, chat! And thanks for reading. I hope I don't get carpal tunnel from typing too much.