Day 139 of returning for the how manyeth time

It's the return of the Moth Blog!! Let's gooooooo yayyyy!! This entry will be more of a way for me to sort things out and update you all on things!

First of all, sorting things out. I've decided to return to the old format but try to mix in some of the new stuff as well which seems like a good idea but I'd also like to set specific tasks for each day. I feel super unproductive when I don't complete all my tasks in a day and that's because there's too damn many of them! How am I supposed to complete them all in a day, I can't even do that when I'm at home all day but these days I come home in the evenings, so 4 or 5pm most days of the week, that's such little time to myself. How am i supposed to watch K-On???? Let's start NOW! tomorrow's goals are....

1. Clean your desk

2. Practice writing

3. Exercise 

4. Study/homework 

5. Finish East of Eden

See, that's nice and manageable. I feel like I could do this! I can do this! Anyway, it's time for an update. I'm not sure if you are aware but I have been playing disco Elysium and I have had a change of heart... I am not literally Hamlet anymore... I am literally Harry Du Bois from Disco Elysium! Now who wants to be my lieutenant?? Who would hurl themselves in front of a bullet for me??? I still love Hamlet, I'm just really upset, damn, it sound stupid to get upset about this but the play means a lot to me, okay? The Hamlet live performance got canceled, I was so excited, I brought the money! I was ready to pay right then and there but nope. Not enough people were interested apparently. Then guess what? My rival! Gets the opportunity to read the famous Hamlet soliloquy in class! The fucker butchered it! How could he! My life is ruined... but actually not really because I'm enjoying Disco Elysium...

I've had so many people (2 people) tell me how this game was made for me and how good the writing is so I finally got it to work on my pc and I am literally Harry! (Im an 18 year old non binary person who barely drinks alcohol) he's just so relatable, I guess. There's a reason why people feel this strong kinship with him even though they don't share his circumstances and it's because he's human, he's pathetic at times and his failure is realistic and palpable BUTTTT so are his victories. The game makes sure you feel every failure and every triumph. I recommended a video featuring voice clips and footage from the game in which Volition says "the road to healing is a long one" or something like that, a message intended for both the main character and the player. Okay, that could be false, I haven't gotten there yet. But I don't know, I feel like you aren't just trying to solve a case, you're trying to solve Harry and it's not just a journey to find the culprit but a journey to be a better person. The tutorial demonstrates what I just spoke about really well, literally it's a tutorial which shows you how the game is going to work as you collect his clothing and it's lowstakes so you don't miss any pivotal information if you skip it but symbolically it's more than that, the first scene is a man who fell apart the night prior and he's picking up the pieces to put himself back together again. I don't know how accurate that is but I just thought I'd show off my chops when it comes to actual writing. This is writing, yes, but what I wrote about disco Elysium just now is something I'd usually write in a more professional piece. And i didn't even touch on Kim... I don't wanna write this all night so I'll just say I love him.

Okay, honesty time! I haven't been spreading my infinite wealth as I usually do. I've been neglecting some of the people in my life but that's all worked out actually, I tied up all those loose ends and we're all good now. It can be exhausting sometimes but now I feel good again, kind of. I think. We're back to infinite wealth but spreading it at a rate which I am comfortable with and will not overwhelm me. I'm even gonna spread infinite wealth in art class... i never thought I'd say that but it's true. My art teacher works damn hard and she really cares about me, it's time to stop being a dick, okay, I'm not a dick to her but I have a general dick-ish attitude in that class and its time to change that. I'm gonna give this project my all!!! It's the last two terms!!! Let's gooooooooooooooooo rahhhhh.

Speaking of GRREWAAAAAAGHHGGHH! I've been getting into Black Midi again. I used to despise Black Midi but I listened to Eat Men Eat again and that song is just so fun! I love it, it opens with the lead singer kinda going ragghhhh or something like that, and then BAM, a wall of amazing sound follows. I don't know why i announced that but OKAY! 

Final two sections! Lets start with my music taste. I've gotten to a point where I have heard enough albums to give out recommendations and lift the curtain ever so slightly to reveal some of it to you all. AND SOME OF YOU NEED SERIOUS EDUCATION ON THIS!! But don't worry, Moth is here to help with that! Let's start NOW! It'll be some easy listening, worry not! Now, this isn't my favorite Floyd album, it's a 6/10 for me BUT it has some hits, I want to recommend the song Us and Them by Pink Floyd from the album Dark Side of the Moon. It's really ethereal sounding, easy to get into, tomorrow will be slightly more avant-garde.

THE RAMBLE SECTION! OHHHH HOW IVE MISSED YOU! I just came off of a holiday and I was pretty unfulfilled. It's good to relax and do nothing sometimes but there comes a point where I wanna do something with my time and I just got so sick of my laziness. I would rot in bed all day and I don't wanna do that again not only don't I want to but I can't afford to! So, I'm gonna try to do as much as I can in the time I have left of high-school and here at home and everything. I spoke about this with friend of the blog, deniz but I get so scared that I never have enough time to do anything that I want to but there's only one way to find out and that's by doing shit! Maybe I am still like Hamlet... (Hamlets third soliloquy). I wanna have a large collection of things I've made in my life and so far, i feel I have nothing. That's not true but it's how I feel sometimes. We gotta take this one step at time I guess. 

Good to be back to this but I'm tired now, I need to sleep, good night and thank you for reading!