entry two

the second time i ever saw it was a week later. after the car accident my mom took me out of school and brought me up to edmonton, where my big brother and sister lived. my brothers mom told me to go get andrea, who was sleeping in her room. andrea slept a lot, and i think thats what i thought she was doing for a moment.

there were pills everywhere, needles, pipes, you name it. there was foam coming out of her mouth. when i went to shake her awake she was stiff, i got throw up on my hands.

i cried the most, even though this was only my second time seeing her. i remember going out to my brother and asking her why this happened again, he didnt know.

i think at the time what i really wanted was an explanation, someone to tell my why these things were happening. maybe i was cursed by something when i was little, but people always seem to die around me.

despite this i was able to be a fairly normal kid, socializing and putting all the complicated feelings away. they didnt matter, that was in the past, i needed to focus on the now.