what the hell is wrong with me

real rant. I like older men so much, older boys, anyone older than my age. im 15 turning 16 this year and I don't know why I like them so much???? I know this sounds like a stupid troll rant but I'm being serious I think maybe its because my dad didnt pay enough attention (or ANY tbh) to me as a kid and now I see older guys as 'father figures' ???

i'll look at a guy in his early 20s and think "I really wish he'd hug me right now" and then I'm like "AAAAA you're so stupid silk"

I just feel so secure near them and I want them to hug me and take care of me all day and I want them to them to put their hand on my shoulder and tell me its okay and that I matter ;;;;