bad cards

i dont think i was supposed to have happy days. i dont think i was supposed to have a good family. i dont think i was meant to live a long life. i don't think i was supposed to get anything good, to have anything good.

it's just the way things are, i guess. the cards i got at birth.

alcoholic, abus1ve, gaslighter, religious, absent. crazy stupid family i was forced to live with.

i have the worst luck in the world.

when it comes down to it you dont want to say your goodbyes or anything like that. you just want to get it over with. and when you're too scared to do it yourself, you have to find other ways