i know how they view me.

its not like they're pointing at me, gawking.

its like theyre

staring.

and muttering to one another.

theres that jobbless shut-in, contributing nothing. a pathetic person who can't move on from what happened a long time ago.

someone who cant contribute anything.

it feels ostracizing.

you try and have a conversation with some family member whos seen your slow fall, and halfway through your little rant about whatever you're interested in, you see that little glimmer of pity in their eyes.

and it hits you how they really view you.

just a sad, paralyzed, lazy shut in who can't live right.