high thoughts

i don't know if its just from being alone and high all the time. i feel so weird that this is our "20s" like i feel weird that i live in present time. for the last months i've had a bit of a doomer mindset. i felt like i had no future, our environment is dying because of us and im scared for how the government will turn out. just general anxiety about everything my future could contain. i feel like the last time life felt real was the 80s, 90s, 2000s, and even 2010s just i feel like covid made me experience such a pause in life. i feel like im nine years old. there is no way this is 2024. but at the same time, i know that its just thinking too deeply about future years. like obviously 2042 sounds so futuristic. so did they for the 2000s. i feel like we are in such a modern time, its weird to exist in the time right before we all predict AI takes over and flying cars and this cyberpunk city. but so did they with the 2020s? so in order to reassure that i am not missing out (because i am goth and a metalhead and an 18 yr old) i started thinking of our current time as our present. i look at every trend thinking "ah yes this is so 20s." or seeing beige instagram reel moms with stanley cups and lazy husbands. its ironic how most millenials ended up becoming that modern, beige style and when you look at gen-z, more are into alternative subcultures. this of course could be explained by being teenagers, or them being nostalgic for that because everything was literally created back then. everything that is being produced by the big creators we used to love in our childhood is producing bullshit. the prime was back then. i saw a tiktok that said "why did we get less cunty over time" and someone replied its because we are in our edwardian era. which, if you are interested in history, you might see ~patterns~ repeating (we do not learn) of course as politics repeats, our lifestyles and cultures of the type also repeat. for instance, a lot of people say that we are heading into our 2000s great depression. [certain senator from florida] showing obvious signs of fascism but nothing is being done. (sorry i live in said state and i am high and im paranoid <3 just to be safe) especially everything thats going on politically because i realized the only thing that made these specific events so significant was *because* of a historical event linking one thing to another. i might be really stupid i havent slept in over 30 hours.