heeiieieieieii

Up next is some random shit i wrote today, just something on my mind:

 still can't fathom how the world works, it's all still mysterious and scary to me. When I went on a plane for the first time, I saw the land I've lived on my whole life get smaller and smaller until there were no clouds and I still couldn't fathom it, how we were able to fly, how the wings were so sturdy, how we didn't fall. And for three hours without food or good entertainment I sat in fear the whole way.

Still, now it all seems weird. It's probably because I'm online all the time and burning my dopamine receptors or whatever all day, scrolling endlessly, or maybe because I daydream constantly and end up feeling better doing nothing irl and being in my mind all day that my chores and responsibilities get postponed until the time limit.

Maybe the rush of unfinished work is just another dopamine receptor thing.

The thing is that, on top of all of that, my relationship is online

And no, we're not awkward when we're together Irl but I constantly live remembering things about him and daydreaming of things I want to do that I question if my feelings towards him are morphed in some way because of my imagination..

I can't have an orgasm or get truly horny at all because my mind wanders elsewhere whenever I do something sexual, even more if it's by myself

modern day problems !!

i Have so much shit to do its not even funny and I havent started yet (NashimotoP reference? I feel like a NashimotoP song rn)