March 22, 2024

Nothing is coming/end of a century 

It’s been a bay day for years now and honestly i don’t even know were this came from. I’m sure a huge part of it is cause the pandemic but even in the late 2019 and early 2020 I started to feel a bit down.

At first I was just feeling bad about myself, then I started to have social problems (I’ve always been kinda shy and quiet but it got worst), I started having some “real” problems too and ended in school problems too.

I used to believe in that it was just fate or others people fault (which I still believing in some part/point); I used to believe that I needed a savior (someone, something, situation, whatever) cause i couldn’t deal with myself.

But you know, nothing is coming. No one is going to show up, no thing is going too happen. Nothing is coming.

And im honestly getting tired, my family is even getting tired of it/me; my mother told me I look more tired/sick every day  and this guy told me I look pretty low.

So I guess I’ll eventually have to do something about it, i want to get better but at the same time i don’t feel up to it, like i don’t feel like to do a lot of thing lately (honestly I feel like I’ve lost almost all my will).

My birthday is in a few weeks, i want it to be “the end of a century” even if there’s no century ending soon, but I like the way I named it.

I hope this is the end of a century, not the beginning.

Honestly i don’t feel up to check orthography on this so just take it the way it is