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march 8th, 

i've become sick, horrible. it usually occurs around this time of the month but it still catches me off guard. you forget how terrible it usually feels until it comes back around and bites you in the ass. my throat hurts, my muscles ache. if i move my eyes too fast, i get a headache. 

i read somewhere that apparently the body releases some white cells that sorta dilates the blood and causes inflammation which in turn makes the muscles hurt. sort of miserable. i wanna get off bed but moving too much makes me cry yet my back hurts from laying down. 

but not all hope is lost.

ive become more content in this period of life, improving myself to where id be happy. but with it comes a sense of boredom, ya know? but id prefer boredom than how depressed i was. 

i know that sense of dread and hopelessness will come back again but its nice knowing i can be happy too. that sometimes life isnt a constant battle to stay afloat and that i can just close my eyes and doze off.

happy rest day to me

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