2024/02/27

painting my nails makes my nails feel so weird after they dry i just end up scrapeing it all off. its so subtly uncomfortable i hate it. I've been putting sharpie on my nails and then topcoat, its surprisingly identical to normal black nail polish, but just as uncomfortable.

how do people sing while playing the guitar its hard enough to focus on playing everything right, and then on top on that sing the right lyrics and have it sound good? people are so talented, i hope one day ill be able to do that.

I don't know if i like potato chips.. the only ones i like are lays oven baked, and i only like them sometimes, and ONLY if i have a soda to go with them. i HATE sprite its like the worst soda ever in my opinion is sucks butt. how do people like it.. i used to like pepsi better than coke because pepsi is sweeter, but now i like coke more, but diet Pepsi is good as well. why do people like diet coke though? its fucking DOG SHIT!!!!!!!!!!1 zero coke on top, but my favourite soda of all time no competition is dr pepper, i haven't tried diet dr pepper yet though, just normal dr pepper, and zero dr pepper.

ive distanced myself from alot of people in my life in the past few weeks. everyone and everything irritates me now. i dont think im "friend material" if that makes sense, i think i should just be alone, atleast for a while. i dont feel like the person my friends know me as, and its not fair for them to be friends with someone they dont actually know. i wonder whats accually wrong with me and why im like this 

i called someone other than my mom for the first time in forever today, my friend, we played roblox. (fashion famous and epic minigames)

its hard for me to be friends with people who've known me for a long time because i feel like i change so fucking much and its my past self that became friends with them, and i wonder, if my present self had met them for the first time, instead of my past self, would i have still become friends with them?

i feel like that makes me a very unstable person to get close to, because if you knew that about me, youd become scared that i wont want to be your friend after some time.

but the fucking thing is i cant control the way i feel, i dont LIKE not feeling close to my once bestest friends i actually hate it im so fucking indesicive its insane. like in my brain, i know its fucking weird and wrong!! but my emotions just don't give a shit about what makes sense.

is this accually normal and im just overreacting and crazy? or am i accually a terrible person?????

anyways now you, reader, think that im insane! wonderful.