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Category: Life

(02/14) love is in the air! | entry #14

hello gamers and game-ettes of all ages. i am here and, most importantly, i am queer!

goodness, i haven't been here in ages. you can practically see the dust on this profile! that's... kinda bad. haha.

anyways! i don't think there's much to talk about aside from the obvious. i already mentioned getting laid off from spirit due to it being a seasonal position, but i haven't really gotten a job since then. i'm running dangerously low on money, but i think having a job while trying to balance schoolwork is not something i want to get wrapped up in again. seriously, that was one HELL of a mistake on my end. to put it into proper context, my grades did not just slip, they fell and broke their legs

i know i'm going to have to get a job and go to college simultaneously at some point, but i think i'm gonna wait about a year after i graduate to head into college. i know, unpopular opinion, but i want to be able to get money and a better grip on how the workforce feels before putting what would essentially be a down payment on a house to go to school again. hate to break it to ya, but your guy needs a break after this year!

wait a minute, i'm a huge liar. i do have something (kind of) new to mention, but it's honestly kind of really depressing? so, uh... buckle up? i don't know man

around christmas time, i stayed at a motel with some family, and when leaving in my half-asleep state, i left basically all of my switch games in the motel room. it was a pretty cheap place, so even after calling over the course of a month, i just... kind of gave up? i have a gen one switch, so i had like 20+ cartridges in my carrying case. goodbye mariokart 8 deluxe, pokemon sword, animal crossing, and both splatoon games. you will be heavily and very dearly missed

regardless of all that, yeah. i've been having to bandage my leg the past two days due to excessive bug bites, and honestly? it kind of fucking sucks! this shit itches like hell! i kind of need to be doing this though, they aren't healing correctly. doesn't keep me from complaining though. my favorite pastime is bitching how could i possibly give that up

hm... oh! 
you guys know how in the last entry of this series, i said that i had a crush on a guy from my job? yeah, uh... i may or may not have... blocked him>>>???? sorry not sorry. there is no happily ever after to the crush arc. 

i realized that i had been subjecting myself to something that i honestly shouldn't have been, and that i wasn't the same person that i wanted to be. thinking about him made me feel like i wasn't me, and i loathed it. it made me feel like all the progression and work that i had done for myself mentally had gone down the drain, not to mention his very barebones responses to me and lack of wanting to keep the conversation going. he would basically only respond if i asked him a question, leave me on read for days at a time, and would ghost me after i mentioned something about myself.
it just wasn't healthy.
blocking him without a word may have been cruel, but his indifference was crueler. 

...wow, that was... heavy! yeesh, i don't think i usually get that sentimental on here, but... typing that felt strangely comforting. and you guys deserve the truth! it isn't pretty, and it wasn't easy to move on, but i'm much happier than back then. it might be valentine's day today, but i feel more than happy to say i don't have a special someone this year. i'm back to me, and that's the best part. :-)

guess i had more that a few new things to mention! i hope this suffices for the time being. now, if you'll excuse me, i have to disappear off this platform for another 3 months

until next time,
    your pal diiv <3


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