Why am I like this (ramble post dont mind this)

I hate catching feelings for people. I can’t even tell if what I’m feeling rn ARE feelings. Does that make sense? Probably not. I can’t tell if I’m crushing on someone, or if I’m just lonely or being clingy. I hate that I’m like this. Why do I have to be so wishy-washy? This doesn’t feel like a crush because I’m too confused, but I can’t deny that the attraction I have is there. I can’t say I feel completely platonic, because that would be a lie, but I’m not willing to commit. At all. I know this but I still feel what I feel. I do not want to lead them on. I don’t want to lead myself on. But I have feelings that aren’t normal, at least, I don’t think most people feel this way about their friends. 

February is a weird month, no?