fill in the blanks

survey to procrastinate the inevitable (15 page final paper)

1.My grandpa once: played mortal kombat with 10 yr old me at dave and busters.

2.Never in my life have I: done ketamine.

3. When I was younger, I: got stuck in wet cement. true story.

4.High school was: hell on earth that i feel like i never fully experienced thanks to covid. but i found some good people throughout the shitty stuff.

5.When I'm nervous: i play sudoku or wordle on my phone.

6.The last time I really cried was: a few months ago.

7.If I were to get married right now: i would eat the reception cake but then immediately figure out a divorce. my girlfriend shares my views on marriage being dumb. shoutout to her. 

8.My hair is: too shaggy. needs a haircut.

9.My feet are: wearing socks that don't match.

10.When I was 5: i wanted to be a train conductor.

11.Last Christmas: i gave you my heart. but the very next day, you gave it away.

12.When I turn my head left: i see the many empty redbull cans that i need to throw out.

13.When I turn my head right: there are lots of books i need to read for class... that i'm ignoring to write this survey.

14.Life is not complete without: a song stuck in your head.

15.By this time next year: we might have a new president. and none of the options are good.

16.I have a hard time understanding: why people at my college don't walk faster in the hallways. we all have places to be. please.

17.One time at a family gathering: my great uncle had me watch a 9/11 conspiracy documentary when i turned 13. he said it was both a birthday gift and an enlightenment that i needed "as a man." 

18.Take my advice: don't take my advice.

19.My ideal breakfast is: pop tart.

20.If you visit my hometown: ignore the republicans, enjoy the nature.

21.My friends are: not on this website no matter how hard i try to convince them to make an account. 

22.If you spend the night at my house: watch out for ghouls & goblins. they're lurking.

23.I would stop my wedding if: i was smart.

24.The world could do without: elon.

25.I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: do my final essay.

26.The most recent thing I've bought myself is: vitamin water.

27.And, by the way: it was the dragonfruit one. they're good.

28.The last time I was high: was this morning.

29.In the past I shouldn't have been: so fucking angsty. younger me didn't know how to enjoy the little things.

30.Once, at a bar/club: a very drunk man was convinced i was his childhood best friend who he hadn't seen in years. he followed me around for a good two hours trying to "catch up" despite me repeatedly saying i wasn't the guy he thought i was. wonder what he's up to now.

31.Last night, I: worked on homework until 4:30am fueled only by caffeine and bladee.

32.If I didn't have any obligations tomorrow: i would finally sleep in.

33.A better name for me would be: fred figglehorn ... if only i were as cool as him.

34.In the last 6 months: i have experienced the most stress ever in my life. but i'm almost free.

35.If I ever go back to school: i would get a degree in something weird like auctioneering or something.

36.I bet you didn't know: that spacehey has an elite secret organization by the name of SMC.

37.I am: just a guy in the big city.

38.I read: things that make my brain hurt.

39.Every birthday: i am one year closer to my last birthday.

40.I regret: doing this instead of working..........