𝅄 ༊࿐⠀Blog 1 | 16/08/23

ㅤㅤㅤnothing special happened today. the weather is rather hot and i do not really like it: whole summer was quite chilly and i was fine with wearing light jackets and occasionally sunbathing under soft sun. now i feel like fish out of the water. my throat is dry, i need to take cold showers now and then. i can note that i can control it better then before: couple month before i was not able to take shower in weeks, now i'm able to do this every time i feel slightly icky. some might say it's nothing worth to brag about, but i will disagree. it's a great step for the better for me alongside with occasional skincare routine. i also take great care about my nails and getting used to wear them slightly longer then usual "i-play-piano-don't-bother-me" length. they were thin and damaged 3 weeks ago, bending every time i tucked my sheets into the gap between bed and mattress. patting myself on the head for that.

ㅤㅤㅤthis whole week we will be preparing cherries for jams, juices and jellies: i dearly love this fruit, but it stains my hands badly. my grandpa keeps bringing more and more of them from the garden and with all tools for cherry pips broken I got used to remove them by hand guarding myself from the wasps. now my hands look like this. isn't it silly? i washed it off with a slice of lemon. works like charm every time. i also had a great idea to put cherry juice mixed with honey in plastic containers for ice cubes. grandma liked the idea better than making bottled juice. she thinks that bringing honey to temperature higher than 40° releases some cells connected to cancer. don't wanna try it out.

ㅤㅤㅤlife in general is not getting easier to inch... i still get night terrors every time, where someone is chasing me down through the woods. i can't even take a walk near our lake, because old forest make me feel uneasy. i remember exploring it alone all the time when i was a teenager. i know, that it might be just night terrors and nothing else, but i also don't want to test my guardian angel anymore. sadly, i can't see any pleasant dreams too: it's either nightmares or darkness. nothing in between. i'm still taking old meds tho, might be a side effect. need to talk it out with my therapist later.

ㅤㅤㅤwork is going well. i love communicating with children and see them happy and energetic. usually, our camp hosts free visits for children from orphanages at the late august, but this year a lot of children wanted to visit our camp, so there will be 4 terms, with orphans in september. i hope the weather will be nice and warm for them too. 4 terms mean that we have more time to prepare for their visit and buy more useful stuff that they will be able to take with them without feeling guilty or sad. my grandma always shakes her head, how can i work with such children? most of other camp counselors are quitting on orphan term for different reasons, but i keep working. can't leave them alone, really. most of them visit yearly, so they know me and feel better with someone familiar around. 

ㅤㅤㅤtoday i saw a funny frog too. it was hiding in the leaves (you can try to find it! it was hard!), but i think it lives in our pond. good for this little buddy.

ㅤㅤㅤin the evening we went to the lake. i like swimming, it eases my back pains. the water was chilly at first, but when i got out of it, i didn't even felt cold, but more refreshed. so, maybe hot weather is not that bad at the end. 

ㅤㅤㅤnow, as i feel sleepy, i think that day was really okay. i wasn't sad, and it was enough.

goodnight!ㅤㅤㅤ

joxㅤㅤㅤ